"ALMOST ... BUT NOT QUITE"

10 months after my ex-boyfriend jumped me from within the sallow green walls of Lung Center to whisk me off to Baguio and back for a shanghai-type proposal in his car, I am neck-deep in wedding paraphernalia and ideas (unwittingly collected from a dozen bridal fairs and well-meaning friends and acquaintances)

I never expected the complexity of planning a wedding nowadays ... esp. if you're an OC bridezilla, incapable of not personalizing most of the details :-)

But on some days, even the staunchest bridezillas get headaches :-)

On those days, I take a look at this picture taken by my sister and take a breather. I take stock of the important things and immerse myself in the wellsprings of love and laughter in my life - you know, House MD, shopping, soft, moist bibingka, creamy hot cocoa, Brad Pitt and Jude Law, to name a few :-) I remind myself (forcefully, sometimes!) that it is our wedding and not anybody else's. I tell myself that perfection is not the goal. Providing unforgettably happy moments for us and our guests is. Almost there ... but not quite yet :-)

"not-so" HAPPY FEET

It might have been my unnaturally toxic week at the office ... it might have been the slight but unmistakable twinges that signified the advent of my monthly ordeal with femininity ... it might have been the loads of subliminal messages I've imbibed from leaving Discovery Channel on while I slumbered ...

Whatever it was, it prevented me from blissfully enjoying the movie as an innocent child might. First half was great, the animation was outstanding, the dialogue witty and amusing - in short it was the perfect foil for the stress of every-day life that gets to even the most cheerful person once in a while.

But the moment Mumble jumped off the cliff in pursuit of the fishing boats up to the realistically improbable happy ending, the entire audience was silent. Even the normally rambunctious kids were silent. When the lights went on, people looked dazed - no excited chatter - just an awkward, uncomfortable silence broken by the usual sounds of people getting up to leave. I cannot vouch for what our fellow movie-goers felt but on my part - i felt distrubed. Movie-goers from developed countries might not find anything wrong - but coming from a country which still bears the scars of centuries of colonization - "dancing" for the amusement of the "enlightened ones" in order to get them to repair the damage they caused in the first place hits a little too close to home. :-(

I want my money back! They promised mindless, cute fun with the usual but poignant pathos thrown in for good measure. What did I get? Disturbing realizations that will surely haunt me during REM sleep! Give me harmless and enjoyable flicks like Ice Age, Shrek and Incredibles anytime! Darn it ... now I need comfort food to appease my thwarted attempt at escapism ... ;-)

Silver_Wings